Things To Remember When You Want To Quit

Can I ask you a question … if I promised not to tell anyone else what your answer will be?

“Have you ever felt like quitting?”

Maybe it’s because more people are leaving than coming to your church …

Maybe it’s that same group that critiques every one of your sermons …

Or maybe you just don’t feel like you’re cut out for this anymore?

Let me let you in on a secret no one talks about: We All Have Felt This Way!

The real secret in church leadership is that all of us have had those same feelings at one time or another.

But why do some people decide to quit, while others find a way to keep going?

And how can we find that “life raft” that helped that first group stay the course?

Here are two things to remember when you want to quit church leadership:

1.  Ask Yourself Why You Want To Quit

Too many times we run from feelings of doubt, anger, and despair when it comes to our call to ministry.

In some way, by allowing these emotions, we think we’re sinning against God.

But I would argue the best thing to do while feeling this way is to sit with these emotions awhile and really find out why we’re having them.

Here are some things we may realize:

1. We feel we should quit because we don’t fit into the cookie-cutter model of church leadership.
2. We have been truly hurt by the people we’re serving.
3. We have been keeping score on the wrong scoreboard.
4. The season we’re in has really burnt us out.

By allowing our emotions to breathe, we start getting to the heart of why we want to quit.

To consider just one of these realizations, let’s look at the hurt from others that seems to drag us down.

I’ve been in church leadership for almost two decades now, and have come to realize that “to make it in ministry for the long term”, we will inevitably get hurt by people we serve and love from time to time.

Let me share with you one of my stories:

I can remember a new family coming to our church and really sticking. 

They started coming on Sundays and even mid-week Bible studies.

Their kids were involved in youth ministry, and the parents even started serving in different areas.

I poured out all I had into their lives and loved seeing their relationship with God grow.

It was so rewarding! A true discipleship process!

But then, I found out that they were starting to look for another church to go to.

To say it hit me hard would be an understatement.

I was angry, sad, confused, and hurt.

I, and my team, had poured so much into this family and now they were leaving to go to another church in the area.

I would be lying if I said this is the only time something like this has happened.

But one thing God has shown me during these times is that this is His church; not mine.

And He has called me to sow seeds no matter what ground it falls on. (Matthew 5:13-16)

If I decided to run from those emotions back then, I may have never learned to “give my church back to God”.

I didn’t need to quit as much as I needed to share with God how I felt, and then hear his calm voice.

In time, I’ve learned to sit awhile with the hard questions when quitting is in my vocabulary.

2.  Remember Your WHY 

Church leaders do ministry for many reasons: 

1. We see a need in the church
2. We feel an obligation to help
3. Someone told us we would be good at it
4. We have a natural heart to help other people

With all these reasons we carry around, we seem to forget the “one reason that should be carrying us”.

Our WHY should be grounded in the CALL from God we heard.

For you, your call may be different, but I heard mine as I was sitting in the back seat of my grandparent’s car around ten years old.

We were driving to the grocery store, and I was reading my bible in the back seat.

As I was reading, I came across a verse about preaching to others and thought “That would be a cool thing to do”.

At that moment, God spoke to my heart that He was calling me into the ministry.

It was so moving that even when I strayed away as a teen, I always knew I would be in ministry someday.

Throughout the last twenty years of pastoring, one thing that has helped me in times of doubt has been remembering that trip in the back seat of my grandparent’s car.

That’s my WHY.

What about you? When did you hear God’s voice calling you into church leadership?

Remembering our WHY is the most important thing that helps us stay the course when we want to quit.

Call to Action

As church leaders, we all go through tough times in ministry where quitting seems to be the only way out.

Before you turn in your resignation, sit awhile with those emotions this week and figure out the root of why you’re feeling this way.

Find a person you trust, and talk through how you’re feeling to help lighten the load.

Also, I encourage you to set some time aside to remember WHY you got into church leadership by doing these steps:

1. Where were you when God called you into church leadership? (Remember the smells, sounds, and place you felt called.)
2. How old were you?
3. What did you feel at that moment?
4. What made you finally decide to take the leap into ministry?

Now, write these things down to help you remember when you’re feeling like quitting.

What Do You Think?

What about you? 

Do you have another tip not mentioned? 

Feel free to share in the comments section below!